Intro
Davinia: Welcome to Questgiver! What can I say about tonight's episode? Is it a masterpiece? My Magnum Opus?
(Waits a beat)
No, of course not! This episode was supposed to be put together by Krudge, but he made the Stew Elemental do it. (Cut to stew elemental waving with blank expression on his face) You think he could create a masterpiece? I'm going to need you dramatically lower your expectations. Hold onto your helmets, folks! It's going to be a living nightmare!
Speaking of nightmares; have you met our Contestants? They are:
(Name Contestants)
And the aforementioned Krudge, the Unsummoned Familiar: he's short, he's ugly, but he does all the work I don't want to do. So he's not completely useless.
Krudge: (sitting in the throne next to Davinia's) Hiya, Davinia! So you mention every time that I'm Unsummoned...and look it's fine because it's true, right?
But ya know what they don't tell ya? How scary it is being summoned. You ever had a witch summon you to go spy on the neighbors? Ya know what happens when you spy ON ...THE ...NEIGHBORS?! They find you, And they scoop you up under a glass with, like, a magazine or a stiff leaf underneath. And that's a (chewing every syllable) TOR CHUR CHAIM BER, DAVINA! A TORTURE CHAMBER!! Ya wanna get TORTURED?!?!
Ahem! (clears throat) At least, that's what I've heard. As I was saying...call me Unsummoned all you want. This is the better gig.
Davinia: (dryly) Fascinating. Do you have a Loot Quest category for this episode?
Krudge: Oh...uh... right. The Loot Quest category for this episode is:
Loot Quest
The Best Cursed Object
Endeavor of Adequacy
Remove the imp-mites from Krudge's Home
Krudge's burrow has been infected with imp-mites. Remove them. Harming the imp-mites is discouraged. Whatever happens to Krudge's Burrow is his problem. You have a maximum of 5 minutes. (10 attempts). You may only use items from Krudge's Sack of Desperation. Reality check: D4
GM note: Imp-mites are tenacious. The best way to get rid of an imp-mite infestation is by playing EDM/Jazz mash-ups at frequencies only dogs can hear. But in fairness, if you could hear it, you'd want to leave too. Imp-mites are attracted to the oldest imp within 100 feet. However, they are not intelligent and can be easily fooled. Krudge should react to any destruction of his burrow
Jaunt of Jeopardy
Earn the approval of this Fae Lord
GM note: Fae Lord - Ronan Cloudflower - a bumbling puffin-coral fairy who failed his way up into a bureaucratic position. Is the Lord of Seaweed and Rocks. Once again be prepared to help players with decision paralysis. Reminder: Krudge is always available with Ajajh and the Sack of Desperation unless otherwise noted.
Sudden Quest
Deal the most damage to this effigy of Davinia in one attack. Reality Check: D6, (odd = negative, even = positive)
GM note: Contestants may use any skills they have to cause damage to the effigy with one strike.